


Meat Cravings

by Lakritzwolf



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: -Ish, Crack, Gen, Humor, this is one big innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:00:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26068366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lakritzwolf/pseuds/Lakritzwolf
Summary: When the warlocks are unavailable, Shadowhunters must do what they must.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Andrew Underhill
Comments: 15
Kudos: 21





	Meat Cravings

Eavesdropping is something Isabelle Lightwood could admit she can be guilty of, but only very rarely. She has great respect for other people’s privacy. Sometimes she can’t help it though, and that’s how it happened that she now stood next to the door of the communal kitchen in the Institute. 

“What do you think?” Alec asked hesitantly.

Underhill emitted a questioning hum. 

Curiosity getting the better of her, Isabelle peaked around the door frame. Alec and Underhill stood next to each other, almost touching at the shoulders, facing the wall and the worktop with their backs to the door. Their heads were bowed and they were talking in low voices. 

“So,” Alec went on, “yours is larger, and thinner, and mine is not as big but thicker. I’m actually not sure which goes in first.”

“I’m really not the expert here,” Underhill replied. 

“Usually Magnus is the one doing this,” Alec said hesitantly after a moment. “He says he doesn’t want to be out of practice again, so I let him.” He cast a quick look at Underhill before looking down again. “What about you and Lorenzo?”

“Oh, you know Lorenzo,” Underhill replied with a chuckle. “He’s more into… let’s say he calls it ‘elaborate’, and I call it ‘complicated’. But I guess when you’re immortal the basic stuff gets boring eventually.”

“Yeah, no surprise,” Alec said with a grin. 

Both of them were still intently staring down before them. 

“But that doesn’t get us anywhere,” Alec said with a sigh. “Which one has to go in first?”

“Yours is thicker,” Underhill replied after a moment. “It should go in first, then it’s my turn.”

“Right.” Alec nodded. “Hand me the oil, please?”

“You got it,” Underhill said and reached for the shelf. 

Rustling of plastic, and a grumbling _fuck this shit_ coming from Alec made Isabelle stand on tip-toe. 

“How do you open this shit?” Alec muttered, accompanied by more plastic rustling. “With a knife?”

No way this was happening. Isabelle couldn’t hold it any longer and stepped into the kitchen. 

“Guys? What are...”

Both Alec and Underhill spun around, the former with a knife in his hand, the latter with the bottle of cooking oil. 

“Oh, our warlocks are out on a conference somewhere,” Underhill said with a bright smile. “Alec and I were trying to make dinner for the two of us.”

“Dinner...” Isabelle said, slowly crossing her arms. 

“Yeah, we wanted steaks,” Alec explained and stepped aside. Two large vacuum-sealed slabs of meat were lying next to each other on the worktop. “But we bought them separately and they turned out different in size, so now we’re trying to figure out which one has to go first into the pan, because we want to eat together but there’s only one pan, you know?”

“Yes,” Isabelle said very slowly and nodded gravely. “Maybe we should stock up on a few more utensils and some kitchenware.”

“Splendid idea, boss!” Underhill said cheerfully. 

“I’ll leave you to it, then,” Isabelle said, and made a hasty retreat, foregoing spending any more time in the kitchen, or in the company of her brother and Underhill, even if that meant she didn’t get her coffee.


End file.
